to love for the hope of it all

there’s a lot i feel the need to unpack about the current situation, involving how little blame i place on a.b.s. for his behaviour. i will take the time to do so in the daytime, taking into consideration that i may be coming down from the small amount of white powder i consumed this eve.

for a minute, in this uber home, i will be selfish.

you’re a constant in my thoughts while I travel in and out of yours like a lost vagabond. i reckon it’s a rarity I occupy it for anything longer than a second. i’m a passing thought while i sometimes consider you everything. 

i miss when i used to matter to somebody. even if i was unhappy. at least, for a short moment, i mattered. 

i think the overwhelming feeling of loneliness continues to grow. i don’t know how to stop it honestly.