to love for the hope of it all

he’s ruined it. like i thought he would. like i was hoping he wouldn’t but ultimately knew that he would.

i’m always so focused on me ruining it that i ignore that he keeps doing it. i think it’s time to let him lie in the embers of the house fire he keeps pushing for. this can’t be what it’s meant to be. it’s not supposed to be this difficult.

i’m tired. it’s time for bed.