untethered. that’s how i feel. i thought it was best described as numbness, but i think it’s untetheredness. a never-ending transitionary phase where i feel unmoored. i feel disconnected from others as well as myself, and i keep using technology to avoid feeling it, hoping that artificial simulation will help. it doesn’t. not really.
my main communications are with my mother and a very confusing, unpredictable man, if you set aside people i play video games with online.
i don’t think having a genuine emotional reaction to ‘message in a bottle’ by the police is considered normal.
i’m going through the motions of living without really feeling like i am. i’m alive, i suppose, but not living. i don’t feel like a person. i feel like a failing trial if anything.
to love for the hope of it all 
Leave a comment